L... is for LOVE.
it is a mystery...
very tricky to unfold,
and tormenting when revealed.
I... is for INDULGENCE.
it is as saintly as it is sinful...
sinful to anyone selfish,
saintly to anyone selfless.
F... is for FRIENDSHIP.
it is everlasting and true...
strengthened by trust, sincerity, and humbleness,
crippled by distrust, pretense, and arrogance.
E... is for ENDURANCE.
it is our suffering...
made difficult by choices,
and excruciating by sacrifice.
LIFE... is obscured by LOVE;
spoiled by INDULGENCE;
prolonged by FRIENDSHIP;
and secured by ENDURANCE.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
prayers... :(
today... i just realized how important life can be, and how empowering our prayers and symphathy can be.
a very young and beautiful lady is currently suffering from a stroke due to anemia and bacterias in her bloodstream
she's in the intensive care unit of kaiser permanente here in los angeles...
my sis, my couz, and i are going to visit her tomorrow to see how she's doing.
i hope HE gives her more time to live. i pray for her well being and speedy recovery.
she's too young to leave her parents... and she's the eldest.
i could just imagine tita carol's agony...
may GOD BLESS her and give her strength... same goes to her dad and siblings.
after a few hours of finding out about her condition... i come across yet another grave news from my better half's kuya.
he told me the real reason why their third brother died [back home]...
he was found dead in his room with 7 stab wounds in his body.
even i could not believe what i found out... how can someone do something inhuman???
i mean its more acceptable to find out that he died of his health condition...
but to find out that he was brutally killed like he was an animal... its enough to make me lose some of my sanity.
for Kuya A, i pray that may you find peace where ever you are and may justice be in your side.
for the family you left, i pray that may all of them find peace in their minds, souls, homes, and where ever they may be.
i also pray that they acquire justice in the name of your death and their love for you.
for the weak ones who's done something this inhuman to you, i pray that may the LORD cleanse their souls so they can do the right thing and cooperate to bring you justice.
you will be missed Kuya A... may you rest in peace and may the LORD, HIS MOST HIGH, bring justice to your death.
after all this, i'll leave their salvation in YOUR ALMIGHTY HANDS, MY LORD. i humble myself in prayer and may YOU heed them.
"life starts or ends with you. so make the best out of it." - a realization that our lives are just borrowed and can be taken any time, any where. so make the best out of it.
a very young and beautiful lady is currently suffering from a stroke due to anemia and bacterias in her bloodstream
she's in the intensive care unit of kaiser permanente here in los angeles...
my sis, my couz, and i are going to visit her tomorrow to see how she's doing.
i hope HE gives her more time to live. i pray for her well being and speedy recovery.
she's too young to leave her parents... and she's the eldest.
i could just imagine tita carol's agony...
may GOD BLESS her and give her strength... same goes to her dad and siblings.
after a few hours of finding out about her condition... i come across yet another grave news from my better half's kuya.
he told me the real reason why their third brother died [back home]...
he was found dead in his room with 7 stab wounds in his body.
even i could not believe what i found out... how can someone do something inhuman???
i mean its more acceptable to find out that he died of his health condition...
but to find out that he was brutally killed like he was an animal... its enough to make me lose some of my sanity.
for Kuya A, i pray that may you find peace where ever you are and may justice be in your side.
for the family you left, i pray that may all of them find peace in their minds, souls, homes, and where ever they may be.
i also pray that they acquire justice in the name of your death and their love for you.
for the weak ones who's done something this inhuman to you, i pray that may the LORD cleanse their souls so they can do the right thing and cooperate to bring you justice.
you will be missed Kuya A... may you rest in peace and may the LORD, HIS MOST HIGH, bring justice to your death.
after all this, i'll leave their salvation in YOUR ALMIGHTY HANDS, MY LORD. i humble myself in prayer and may YOU heed them.
"life starts or ends with you. so make the best out of it." - a realization that our lives are just borrowed and can be taken any time, any where. so make the best out of it.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
c0nd0Lences
my better half is back in his hometown for a funeral.
i've always known that life is too good to be true.
no matter how happy you are, there would always be something bad that would happen to balance out the good things that's happened.
and the story goes....
it was a warm sunday afternoon. my cousins and i walked down the street to meet up with him. "its going to be a fun day" i said to myself and put on the best smile i could give for him. as we drive to mine and his favorite boba place [bobatime], i crave for his touch but i know better than that so i restrained myself and deprived my long waiting hands of his free hand. a sigh escaped through my nose... a sigh of longing. 'i must satisfy this hunger later on when i have a moment alone with him" i thought. we reach our destination and bought our delish cooling drinks. on we go driving through the freeway to the theaters to watch a movie. "this is the best summer of my life! i cant wait for the rest of the day with him" is the only thing i have in my mind while we walk and wait for our movie to start. about two thirds into the movie i told him "i gotta go to the restroom." "me too. lets go out together" he replied. so we did our businesses and on the way back into the dark big screen room full of movie watchers, he tugs on me and gives me a passionate peck that turned into a passionate kiss and i returned the favor of course. "dammit." i thought when we stopped. we entered the door of the dark room. "i missed you so much" he said and almost immediately gave me a hug and again, the long awaited passionate kiss that would've lasted longer if it wasnt for the movie. so we went back to our seats and enjoyed the rest of the movie. the movie ended and we get out and walked towards the coffee shop [starbucks]. while all 5 of us walked he says to me in a hushed tone that only i could hear, "my brother just died...we're going back home to the philippines today or tomorrow. i have to go." my world froze for a bit more than a second when he said it. i cant believe it... just when we're both having our time together, something comes up.
and so, yes him and both his parents are back home.
his 27 year old brother died of stroke. him and his brother were really close.
you will be missed kuya A and may you rest in peace.
"love dies only when you've given up on everything" -hik. true. hik. very true. hik.
i've always known that life is too good to be true.
no matter how happy you are, there would always be something bad that would happen to balance out the good things that's happened.
and the story goes....
it was a warm sunday afternoon. my cousins and i walked down the street to meet up with him. "its going to be a fun day" i said to myself and put on the best smile i could give for him. as we drive to mine and his favorite boba place [bobatime], i crave for his touch but i know better than that so i restrained myself and deprived my long waiting hands of his free hand. a sigh escaped through my nose... a sigh of longing. 'i must satisfy this hunger later on when i have a moment alone with him" i thought. we reach our destination and bought our delish cooling drinks. on we go driving through the freeway to the theaters to watch a movie. "this is the best summer of my life! i cant wait for the rest of the day with him" is the only thing i have in my mind while we walk and wait for our movie to start. about two thirds into the movie i told him "i gotta go to the restroom." "me too. lets go out together" he replied. so we did our businesses and on the way back into the dark big screen room full of movie watchers, he tugs on me and gives me a passionate peck that turned into a passionate kiss and i returned the favor of course. "dammit." i thought when we stopped. we entered the door of the dark room. "i missed you so much" he said and almost immediately gave me a hug and again, the long awaited passionate kiss that would've lasted longer if it wasnt for the movie. so we went back to our seats and enjoyed the rest of the movie. the movie ended and we get out and walked towards the coffee shop [starbucks]. while all 5 of us walked he says to me in a hushed tone that only i could hear, "my brother just died...we're going back home to the philippines today or tomorrow. i have to go." my world froze for a bit more than a second when he said it. i cant believe it... just when we're both having our time together, something comes up.
and so, yes him and both his parents are back home.
his 27 year old brother died of stroke. him and his brother were really close.
you will be missed kuya A and may you rest in peace.
"love dies only when you've given up on everything" -hik. true. hik. very true. hik.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
funky doo =P
haha that title... freaking baby... we were chatting last night and then he told me "mahal i have a new name for you"
so i was like "what is it?" and then he says... "scooby dii!!!" haha so i said "haha ok so i'm scooby dii... but you're funky doo!!" hahaha
anyway, i miss him =( like i SERIOUSLY miss him... i want to see him... feel his arms wrapped around me... know that he'll make sure i'm safe and sound... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. this is making me miss him even more.
so lets talk about another subject to get my mind off of my baby for maybe a few minutes...
hmmmm... 2 months until my birthday... my 20TH BIRTHDAY!!!
fck this is stressing to think about... i dont wanna be 20 yet =(
really really stressing. but at least baby and i would be on the same age group =)
oh my goodness he's online now!
i can talk to him already!!!! yay !!!
BABYYYYYYYY !!!!!
ADIOS ya'll !
"let's not wait for the grass to grow" -haha true. just because i dont like waiting. i can be very impatient. tsk tsk....
so i was like "what is it?" and then he says... "scooby dii!!!" haha so i said "haha ok so i'm scooby dii... but you're funky doo!!" hahaha
anyway, i miss him =( like i SERIOUSLY miss him... i want to see him... feel his arms wrapped around me... know that he'll make sure i'm safe and sound... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. this is making me miss him even more.
so lets talk about another subject to get my mind off of my baby for maybe a few minutes...
hmmmm... 2 months until my birthday... my 20TH BIRTHDAY!!!
fck this is stressing to think about... i dont wanna be 20 yet =(
really really stressing. but at least baby and i would be on the same age group =)
oh my goodness he's online now!
i can talk to him already!!!! yay !!!
BABYYYYYYYY !!!!!
ADIOS ya'll !
"let's not wait for the grass to grow" -haha true. just because i dont like waiting. i can be very impatient. tsk tsk....
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
the m0nster in me
sooooo....i had my monthly visit last friday [oh7.0three.oh9]... and this wasnt the most typical 1st day.
the main symptoms were present and very noticeable... and i admit that.
i had abdominal pains, back pains, and headaches to the point that i felt a migraine coming.
when i got home... additional load of pain got me... which led to heightened irritation.
but i didnt mean for that to happen. i cant just control my hormones you know...
so anyway, after dinner, my mom told my sister to wash the dishes...
by this time i was calmer... more mellow. so i decided to watch TV... wait a bit to fix the dining table.
when i got up... i end up fixing the table and starting doing the dishes... which i didnt have to since my mom told my sis to do it.
my sister went up to me and told me to stop because i'm doing her job... but i wouldnt budge.
so she got mad... and told me... "is this what you think of me?" [to be honest, i didnt know what the heck she was talking about when she said this]
and then she stormed out of the dining room... through the narrow hall way... into our bedroom... stomping her feet while doing so.
and then BOOM! my heightened irritation reached its peak.
i stormed after her into the bedroom and yelled "what the FCK is your FCK`N problem??? what the FCK do you FCK`N want???"
she was just standing there... fixing her clothes in her closet... MAD and NOT SAYING A THING
so i slapped the back of her head... [in chavacano we call it KAKAL]
i was on the verge of losing myself and about to go crazy hurting her when i realize that "FCK SHE'S MY SISTER. MY BAYBOO. WHY DID I JUST HURT HER LIKE THAT?"
then i told her... yelling "you know i have never done this kind of thing to you when you were growing up... when we were growing up... because we're too close" and i lie down on my bed...
but just as when i thought my anger was over... she yells at me... sounding like she meant it from the heart... "BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING A BITCH!!!!!"
right when she said that i jumped off my bed and pulled her by her hair yelling at her... "WHAT THE FCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME???? WHAT THE FCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME????????!!!!!!!" i was so mad that i almost got crazy hurting her.
but then i saw her eyes. that's when i stopped and lay back on my bed... watching my sister cry in frustration.
i couldnt bare seeing her like that... and i couldnt bare knowing i'm the cause of her pain.
i went outside... accidentally slamming the door behind me.
my mother hears it and she goes on with her routine of hurting words and irrational decisions.
i ignore these words that are coming out of my mom's mouth because my main concern was how my sister felt after i deliberately hurt her... [ok exaggerated on the deliberately part]
i go into our now empty room and cried while taking out the remains of the quote that we both put up on our room's wall that read "sisterhood is probably the most competitive relationship in the family, but when the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship."
after that... i felt like i lost a part of me... like my life wasnt complete.
thirty minutes after our fight, she comes in while talking to her friend on the phone...
then i hear "hold on ok? hold on." and then she comes over to me and hugs me and says "sorry ate... i'm sorry"
my heart melted when she said this... and continued talking to her friend...
then i stopped what i was doing and did the same thing to her...
and that's how we ended up being close again... like nothing happened.
now i gotta end this cuz its long. haha. and i'm starting to tear up.
ADIOS !
"you dont know what you have until its gone." -this happened when i saw the teared up letters of our wall quote. i thought i lost my bayboo sistie... turns out... we love each other too much to stay mad at each other... :)
the main symptoms were present and very noticeable... and i admit that.
i had abdominal pains, back pains, and headaches to the point that i felt a migraine coming.
when i got home... additional load of pain got me... which led to heightened irritation.
but i didnt mean for that to happen. i cant just control my hormones you know...
so anyway, after dinner, my mom told my sister to wash the dishes...
by this time i was calmer... more mellow. so i decided to watch TV... wait a bit to fix the dining table.
when i got up... i end up fixing the table and starting doing the dishes... which i didnt have to since my mom told my sis to do it.
my sister went up to me and told me to stop because i'm doing her job... but i wouldnt budge.
so she got mad... and told me... "is this what you think of me?" [to be honest, i didnt know what the heck she was talking about when she said this]
and then she stormed out of the dining room... through the narrow hall way... into our bedroom... stomping her feet while doing so.
and then BOOM! my heightened irritation reached its peak.
i stormed after her into the bedroom and yelled "what the FCK is your FCK`N problem??? what the FCK do you FCK`N want???"
she was just standing there... fixing her clothes in her closet... MAD and NOT SAYING A THING
so i slapped the back of her head... [in chavacano we call it KAKAL]
i was on the verge of losing myself and about to go crazy hurting her when i realize that "FCK SHE'S MY SISTER. MY BAYBOO. WHY DID I JUST HURT HER LIKE THAT?"
then i told her... yelling "you know i have never done this kind of thing to you when you were growing up... when we were growing up... because we're too close" and i lie down on my bed...
but just as when i thought my anger was over... she yells at me... sounding like she meant it from the heart... "BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING A BITCH!!!!!"
right when she said that i jumped off my bed and pulled her by her hair yelling at her... "WHAT THE FCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME???? WHAT THE FCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME????????!!!!!!!" i was so mad that i almost got crazy hurting her.
but then i saw her eyes. that's when i stopped and lay back on my bed... watching my sister cry in frustration.
i couldnt bare seeing her like that... and i couldnt bare knowing i'm the cause of her pain.
i went outside... accidentally slamming the door behind me.
my mother hears it and she goes on with her routine of hurting words and irrational decisions.
i ignore these words that are coming out of my mom's mouth because my main concern was how my sister felt after i deliberately hurt her... [ok exaggerated on the deliberately part]
i go into our now empty room and cried while taking out the remains of the quote that we both put up on our room's wall that read "sisterhood is probably the most competitive relationship in the family, but when the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship."
after that... i felt like i lost a part of me... like my life wasnt complete.
thirty minutes after our fight, she comes in while talking to her friend on the phone...
then i hear "hold on ok? hold on." and then she comes over to me and hugs me and says "sorry ate... i'm sorry"
my heart melted when she said this... and continued talking to her friend...
then i stopped what i was doing and did the same thing to her...
and that's how we ended up being close again... like nothing happened.
now i gotta end this cuz its long. haha. and i'm starting to tear up.
ADIOS !
"you dont know what you have until its gone." -this happened when i saw the teared up letters of our wall quote. i thought i lost my bayboo sistie... turns out... we love each other too much to stay mad at each other... :)
Thursday, July 2, 2009
sick. stiLL??
ANNOYING.
that should describe how this 7-day flu is turning out to be.
fck. it wouldn`t even give me a break.
and i am worried because 4th of july is in 2 days and i'm not getting any better.
wow. i just got sleepy. haha dozed off for like 5 mins.
i was bored today so i tried entertaining myself.
i danced, sang, played sorority life on facebook... BUT I WAS STILL FCKN` BORED.
so i decided... hey what about logging in to GUILD WARS.
i've been addicted to that game long enough to realize that its been affecting my studies.
it wasnt till late winter to early spring of `09 that i realized that. haha how horrible.
anyway, i logged on and played for i think 10 minutes.
i did the MINISTER CHO'S ESTATE MISSION in the FACTIONS CAMPAIGN on HARD MODE with my usual 3 NECROMANCER HEROES.
haha. finished that shit for i think 5 mins. haha i'm such a noob.
and then i tried doing another one... but then i got bored... so i logged out.
after that, i wished i had another game that i play. hahahaha.
oh man this is getting long. i dont really post long blogs. its not in my nature.
till later, ADIOS!
"you cant face your problem if the problem is you face" -bahahaha. hilarious.
that should describe how this 7-day flu is turning out to be.
fck. it wouldn`t even give me a break.
and i am worried because 4th of july is in 2 days and i'm not getting any better.
wow. i just got sleepy. haha dozed off for like 5 mins.
i was bored today so i tried entertaining myself.
i danced, sang, played sorority life on facebook... BUT I WAS STILL FCKN` BORED.
so i decided... hey what about logging in to GUILD WARS.
i've been addicted to that game long enough to realize that its been affecting my studies.
it wasnt till late winter to early spring of `09 that i realized that. haha how horrible.
anyway, i logged on and played for i think 10 minutes.
i did the MINISTER CHO'S ESTATE MISSION in the FACTIONS CAMPAIGN on HARD MODE with my usual 3 NECROMANCER HEROES.
haha. finished that shit for i think 5 mins. haha i'm such a noob.
and then i tried doing another one... but then i got bored... so i logged out.
after that, i wished i had another game that i play. hahahaha.
oh man this is getting long. i dont really post long blogs. its not in my nature.
till later, ADIOS!
"you cant face your problem if the problem is you face" -bahahaha. hilarious.
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