ok... today i thought that i would spend the whole day nicely.
i kinda did... but it could`ve gotten better.
i was home alone today for an hour... there would have been so much things i would`ve done within that hour.
but nooooooo.... i had to kill it.
psh... so yeah.. i was stuck at home... alone...
i got really bored.
ugh. doing laundry tomorrow... hmmmm.... i wonder.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
long time
so what has happened to me for the past few days that i haven`t posted here... ?
i actually forgot already.
but i have the same feeling that i`ve been having since the day that JOHN and i got together.
and i don`t think that i have been in-love like this way before.
this is going to be an interesting blog for me...
looks like i`m going to talk about my past and present relationships.
to start with, my first ex-boyfriend started as just a one way relationship
he was the one who really liked me a lot and had the capability to pack up the courage and ask me to be his girlfriend
of course i turned him down. i was such a noob in relationships back then.
i didn`t know how it went and i was scared that this first guy would end up breaking my heart if i did fell in love with him.
although i deny it most of the time, i did feel something for my first bf.
but to the extent that i just cared for him. i didn`t feel anything stronger than that.
sure we said our "i love you's" but it never was enough.
i thought i felt the spark between us and i thought that "he was the one" and it ended up the other way around.
my time with him flew by so fast mostly because we don`t see each other that often.
when we broke up, the heartbreak was not at all big
but it was enough to make me cry and look back into the past 4 months that we've been together.
we ended up being friends but it took me a long time to get used to talking to him again.
my second ex-boyfriend was my shortest lived relationship that lasted 2 months.
he was my crying shoulder when my first bf and i broke up.
apparently, we talked almost everyday about our daily lives... and even our personal lives
we talk about really random stuff although we both thought that talking about them is weird.
we only saw each other once.. and that was the day we got together.
after that... our relationship only had to rely on late night phone calls.
its too bad that it was short lived because i had stronger feelings for him than my first bf.
when we broke up, i wanted to get back with him but thought that if we couldn`t even see each other then why bother.
but its not the strongest i've felt... by this time, i wondered why i was always okay with them having to leave me.
dont get me wrong... the crying was still there but at the end of all the crying, i was satisfied and didn`t think about it anymore.
now my third ex-boyfriend was a colleague in my senior year academy.
we were really good friends and i started liking him for he was really nice overall.
so we started talking until we ended up telling each other how we felt.
and so we were official but a week passed by into our relationship and i felt like it wouldn`t work out.
i was gonna end it right then and there but i saw the effort he's putting in the relationship that i decided to stay in it.
then, things got out of hand and i didn`t know what to do anymore.
i wanted to end everything but along the road i fell for him.
it was hard for me to end our relationship on the day of our 8th month together but i had to do it.
why ? because i wasn`t happy.
i wasn`t happy that i did something that i didn`t wanna do.
i wasn`t happy because i felt pressured and stuck.
he said he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life.
it just wasn`t right and i don`t mean to be rude but i didn`t see myself settling down with him.
so as hard and frustrating as it was, i just had to let go.
its just sad because after our break up, i didn`t want to have anything to do with him anymore.
i wanted him to stop caring for me because i got really annoyed.
and right then and there, i`ve hated what i`ve become.
so after that relationship, i decided to change back into my old self.
the caring, forgiving, and loving person that i was
and fortunately, the change was a success.
and so i met my fourth, fifth, and sixth ex-boyfriend and is still my current boyfriend.
i know what you're thinking, and yes we broke up three times... well he did.
our first break-up was due to a mis-understanding... he did it.
well it sounds better as a mis-understanding.
bottom line is, i didn`t want to let go of someone i wanted so bad.
its not just because we`ve only been dating for a day or two...
but because he's the only one i would fight for
and i see myself putting a lot of effort in our relationship even though i`m always at fault when we fight.
its not because i'm desperate to have a boyfriend
but because i like the feeling i get when i'm with him.
i like the feeling of being really happy.
second time around break-up, he did it.
i didnt really know what the reason was...
so did the third break-up... but he ended up staying with me minutes or hours after that those break-ups
he told me that he couldn`t find it in him to leave me because he loves me so much.
and to tell everyone the truth, i feel the same way about him.
and i actually see myself settling and having a family with him
because its in this relationship that i`ve managed to find balance within myself
i know that there`s just too much flaws in our relationship...
but honestly, i dont think that i have been this happy with someone and i plan to stay with him.
i mean sure we argue with each other A LOT, and we would get mad at each other.
our prides may be great... but my conscience and our LOVE for each other,
our mutual feelings for each other is greater than the flaws our relationship has.
i just could not ask for more because i have everything i've been needing and wanting.
i actually forgot already.
but i have the same feeling that i`ve been having since the day that JOHN and i got together.
and i don`t think that i have been in-love like this way before.
this is going to be an interesting blog for me...
looks like i`m going to talk about my past and present relationships.
to start with, my first ex-boyfriend started as just a one way relationship
he was the one who really liked me a lot and had the capability to pack up the courage and ask me to be his girlfriend
of course i turned him down. i was such a noob in relationships back then.
i didn`t know how it went and i was scared that this first guy would end up breaking my heart if i did fell in love with him.
although i deny it most of the time, i did feel something for my first bf.
but to the extent that i just cared for him. i didn`t feel anything stronger than that.
sure we said our "i love you's" but it never was enough.
i thought i felt the spark between us and i thought that "he was the one" and it ended up the other way around.
my time with him flew by so fast mostly because we don`t see each other that often.
when we broke up, the heartbreak was not at all big
but it was enough to make me cry and look back into the past 4 months that we've been together.
we ended up being friends but it took me a long time to get used to talking to him again.
my second ex-boyfriend was my shortest lived relationship that lasted 2 months.
he was my crying shoulder when my first bf and i broke up.
apparently, we talked almost everyday about our daily lives... and even our personal lives
we talk about really random stuff although we both thought that talking about them is weird.
we only saw each other once.. and that was the day we got together.
after that... our relationship only had to rely on late night phone calls.
its too bad that it was short lived because i had stronger feelings for him than my first bf.
when we broke up, i wanted to get back with him but thought that if we couldn`t even see each other then why bother.
but its not the strongest i've felt... by this time, i wondered why i was always okay with them having to leave me.
dont get me wrong... the crying was still there but at the end of all the crying, i was satisfied and didn`t think about it anymore.
now my third ex-boyfriend was a colleague in my senior year academy.
we were really good friends and i started liking him for he was really nice overall.
so we started talking until we ended up telling each other how we felt.
and so we were official but a week passed by into our relationship and i felt like it wouldn`t work out.
i was gonna end it right then and there but i saw the effort he's putting in the relationship that i decided to stay in it.
then, things got out of hand and i didn`t know what to do anymore.
i wanted to end everything but along the road i fell for him.
it was hard for me to end our relationship on the day of our 8th month together but i had to do it.
why ? because i wasn`t happy.
i wasn`t happy that i did something that i didn`t wanna do.
i wasn`t happy because i felt pressured and stuck.
he said he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life.
it just wasn`t right and i don`t mean to be rude but i didn`t see myself settling down with him.
so as hard and frustrating as it was, i just had to let go.
its just sad because after our break up, i didn`t want to have anything to do with him anymore.
i wanted him to stop caring for me because i got really annoyed.
and right then and there, i`ve hated what i`ve become.
so after that relationship, i decided to change back into my old self.
the caring, forgiving, and loving person that i was
and fortunately, the change was a success.
and so i met my fourth, fifth, and sixth ex-boyfriend and is still my current boyfriend.
i know what you're thinking, and yes we broke up three times... well he did.
our first break-up was due to a mis-understanding... he did it.
well it sounds better as a mis-understanding.
bottom line is, i didn`t want to let go of someone i wanted so bad.
its not just because we`ve only been dating for a day or two...
but because he's the only one i would fight for
and i see myself putting a lot of effort in our relationship even though i`m always at fault when we fight.
its not because i'm desperate to have a boyfriend
but because i like the feeling i get when i'm with him.
i like the feeling of being really happy.
second time around break-up, he did it.
i didnt really know what the reason was...
so did the third break-up... but he ended up staying with me minutes or hours after that those break-ups
he told me that he couldn`t find it in him to leave me because he loves me so much.
and to tell everyone the truth, i feel the same way about him.
and i actually see myself settling and having a family with him
because its in this relationship that i`ve managed to find balance within myself
i know that there`s just too much flaws in our relationship...
but honestly, i dont think that i have been this happy with someone and i plan to stay with him.
i mean sure we argue with each other A LOT, and we would get mad at each other.
our prides may be great... but my conscience and our LOVE for each other,
our mutual feelings for each other is greater than the flaws our relationship has.
i just could not ask for more because i have everything i've been needing and wanting.
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